you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
