I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
