she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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