Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
