Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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