I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
