new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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