he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
