I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
