Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
