He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
