Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
