You're so nebulous sometimes
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Can you bring me the toilet please
My butt remains clenched, sir.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
