id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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