I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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