If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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