from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
