I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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