I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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