Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
