U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
