my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
