Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
