i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
