whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
