the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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