It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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