My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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