I hope mine doesn't look like that
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize