doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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