Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
