i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
