no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
