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• (682): View more from Texas

  nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc

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• (817): View more from Texas

  don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.

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• (714): View more from California

  It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  please bring me a paper towel asap.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.

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