Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
