i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.