he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
