So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
