singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.