Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
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Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
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She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time