I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
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You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"