Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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