I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
