so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
