U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
