i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
