wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
