She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
