So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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