i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
