Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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