Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
