Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
