I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
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