the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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