God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
