Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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