you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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