Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
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Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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