I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.