We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
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If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?