before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..