So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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