Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
last night I used snow as a chaser
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