Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
