FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
