My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
