Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
