So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
