in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
