Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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