Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
