he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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