dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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