Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
