you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
