I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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